Two Texas A&M Fans Were Arrested At Saturday's Game Against Texas For Criminal Trespassing, After Attempting To Sneak Into Kyle Field With Hard Hats, Reflective Vests, And Fake Construction Credentials Displaying The Names "Harry Azcrac" and "Duncan McCockiner".

KHOU - COLLEGE STATION, Texas — In a story seemingly straight out of a cartoon episode, two men were arrested for attempting to enter Kyle Field on the day of the 2024 Lone Star Showdown without tickets.

The catch? The way they tried to get into the stadium.

According to the Texas A&M Police Department, the two tried to get in by posing as construction workers in reflective vests and hard hats.

However, the kicker is the people they were posing as.

According to arrest affidavits the day after the game, the two men had pictures of themselves as ID photos, but had their names displayed as "Harry Azcrac" and "Duncan McCockiner".

Queue the snickering and chuckles.

While obviously not their real names, both men were booked into the Brazos County Jail for Criminal Trespass the day of the incident and were released the day after, according to county jail records.

So two college guys with a dream to witness the Lone Star Showdown decided to pull off a stunt for the ages. Their mission: infiltrate Kyle Field without tickets. Their method: impersonate construction workers. Their downfall: fake IDs with names that would make a nun blush.

I feel like the pendulum of justice might just be swinging back a little bit too far now. That just maybe we are dropping the hammer when instead we should maybe just look the other way on something. 

There are such things are victimless crimes in the world, and for two college guys who probably listen to a little bit too much of the Jack Spirko podcast, and were just trying to pull off getting into The Lonestar Showdown without tickets, I think this qualifies. 

There is also such things as grading "A for Effort" and recognizing when people go above and beyond in certain circumstances. This obviously being one such instance. 

Now, I'm not saying these guys are geniuses, but you gotta admire the commitment. They even had photos of themselves on the IDs.

Growing up during The Jerky Boys and Bart Simpson's prime, my generation is all too familiar with "unfortunately named." 

There was nothing worse back in the day than fielding a call on your landline, (we had phones all over our houses that were wired into the walls. Crazy stuff), and somebody was looking for Mike Hunt. Or Haywood Jablomee. Or Phil McCracken. Or Ben Dover. Or Anita Mann. Or Hans Aloverher. Or Justin Sider. Or Dick Gozinya. Or Amanda Love. Or Wayne Kerr. Or Phil Rupp. 

The list goes on and on. But the point is, these names harken back to long ago times. Better, simpler days. Like meeting a young girl today and hearing that her name is "Margaret" or something from yesteryear. We should be looking back at reminders like this with fondness. Not with condemnation. Especially not trying to arrest these guys. 

Would it have been so hard to give these guys a pat on the back and ask them what the hell took them so long to arrive, and tell them hurry up and get to work in the mens bathroom? (While winking of course.) Again, A for effort. 

I thought this was America. 

For that, I say loudly, #FREEZACRAC and #FREEMCCOCKINER

p.s. - if you've ever been to Wrigley Field you know the EXACT type of ushers these two ran into. You've never met old elderly people who take their jobs more seriously and love to exert authority more in your life. There is zero doubt in my mind that Texas A&M employs the same personality type and that these defenders of all that is holy most likely wanted these two guys tased, pepper sprayed, and then given the electric chair for their crimes.